I LOST THE HAPPINESS

I wish to live in the world of happiness,
The wish remained as a horizon,
Without wish I try live in happiness,
But I can hold the hot iron,
Instead to enforce my heart.
My struggles are the splendid painting,
Which I can see it lively in my heart.
But! How can I uncover you the spotless paining.

I don't need your huge pelf,

Nor I want to be your retainer either.
I'm in search of happiness,
But why can't I learn by myself!
I can't kill my desire,
Nor I'll be free from self-centeredness.
And I can't credit the incredible things in religion,
Nor the science distills me from the illusion.

To live happily will be a zenith,

May be an ungetatable pinnacle.
Life may be ruin in fruitless.
Of happiness, I might have the zenith,
When I was in the puerility.
In this life, it may be a miracle,
If I able to live with happiness.
My happiness is forfeited by maturity.

Word Bank

pelf = money

retainer = Servant

zenith = highest point, pinnacle 

puerility = childhood